[F]riend cheated on [M]y other friend

2021.12.01 06:48 AITAthrowawa1 [F]riend cheated on [M]y other friend

Using throwaway just in case, no names, and purposefully vague context.
I have two friends [M - the guy, F - the girl] in their mid-20s that have been dating for several years. We were pretty close friends in college, but my girlfriend (GF) and I have since moved across the country. We still talk to them pretty often, but not nearly as much as before. I consider [M]yself a closer friend to M than F, but my GF and F are best friends.
After we all graduated a few years ago, M and F made the difficult decision to continue their relationship through long distance while F moved overseas for work. They had been living together and M knew she was planning to work overseas. She was supposed to be there for 2 - 3 years with barely any time to travel home and visit friends/family/M. Then Covid happened ~2 years into her assignment and F was told she would be returning home abruptly and much sooner than expected.
Soon after F returned, we had a virtual gathering with friends (myself, GF, M, F + others) due to covid and us still living far away. As the night progressed, we played some virtual drinking games and got pretty wasted. Much later that night, only GF and F were still awake and started having much deeper conversations about F's experience overseas and her abrupt return due to Covid. This is when F revealed to GF that she slept with another guy who was working overseas with her.
I found all of this out from GF the next day, but apparently the other guy was openly into F and didn't really try to hide it despite knowing she was in a long distance LTR. He spent close to 2 years making advances on her, which I heard she never reciprocated. During the abrupt traveling back home after Covid ended their overseas work, everyone in their work group was stuck in a foreign hotel and given little information about upcoming plans. Naturally, this was a stressful and exciting situation since they were all returning to their respective homes to see friends/family sooner than expected, but were not told when. Just to be ready to pack up and leave soon after being notified.
I was told that F's work group spent most of this time getting drunk together in the hotel and reminiscing about the work/experience they had all shared together. They were finally told about travel plans a few days later and decided to have one last big party since many of them would likely never see each other again. The party happened the night before they were scheduled to leave the hotel, and apparently the other guy kept making advances on F. I don't have all of the details of the encounter, but apparently they were sitting on a bed in the hotel room talking. One thing led to another and F finally reciprocated the advance, so they ended up having sex. Three days later, F returned home and reunited with M.
After GF told me all of this, I was extremely conflicted about telling M that F had slept with another guy days before returning home to continue a relationship with him. I told GF about my thoughts, and her initial reaction was letting me know that it wasn't my information to share with M since F had only told GF and not me. She also made the point that if I told M, it could take away the opportunity for F to come clean about it in the future. And that it would be obvious to F that the information came from GF, so F would not trust her anymore. Additionally, at the time I didn't know if they had made any arrangements for an open relationship or anything while doing long distance.
GF and I were also not sure about the status of M and F's relationship. We knew they experienced some bumps during long distance, and didn't know if they were planning on staying together to work things out or if they would break up at some point. We talked and decided I would keep the information private, but if M and F got engaged in the future, I would feel extremely obligated to tell him about his fiance's infidelity.
Fast forward about 1.5 years - M and F got engaged and seem happy together. Shortly after the engagement, GF and I were hanging out with some other mutual friends and discussing M and F. It came to light that F had told one of the friends about her sleeping with the other guy, and so now this small group of theiour friends knew about it. This friend also confirmed that M and F did NOT have an open relationship while F was overseas, so her sleeping with other guy was definitely cheating on M. None of us knew if F had told M about it yet, or if he would ever find out from her.
I have been feeling very conflicted about telling M or confronting F, while trying to convince GF to confront F and figure out whether she plans on confessing to M. This makes the most sense to me since GF found out directly from F anyway and wouldn't break anyone else's trust by discussing it with her. Unfortunately, GF is opposed to this confrontation with F because GF is also very uncomfortable with the situation and it has been over a year since she found out and told me.
Does it make any sense at this point to tell M or try confronting F myself? It's been so long and other friends are involved now, so keeping everyone's names out of the conversation with M seems impossible. I don't want to throw anyone under the bus, or ruin GF's trust in me, but I still feel obligated to at least make sure M knows what happened before he marries F. At this point, I've partially accepted that M will never find out and the friends have convinced me that F would never do something like that again because she was in an extremely stressful situation when it happened. Personally, I believe that if F got away with it once, what's to stop her from doing it again? If M and F ever get divorced due to infidelity, I would feel extremely guilty knowing I maybe could have informed M and prevented him from marrying her if it was a deal breaker. Just not really sure how to handle the situation now.
TLDR: [F]riend cheated on [M]y other friend while she was working overseas. I found out indirectly from my GF over a year ago, and am feeling conflicted about what to do now that M and F are engaged.
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